Forgiveness or Intolerance - Yom Kippur Reflections

This year's Yom Kippur was marked, among other things, by Iran deliberately choosing the day to launch a new Shahab missile capable of reaching Israel: a deliberate act of intolerance, antagonism, and flaunting of military strength. Reactions here included the same spectrum of intolerance, belligerance, and antagonism. The choices are ours. It still seems to me that we are fighting fire with fire, rather than attempting to diffuse the situation, if indeed it can be diffused.

At the end of the day I dressed Rotem in her white dress, and we set off for the synagogue to hear the shofar at the end of the fast day. Surprisingly, there are now two synagogue services in Ben Ami which is ordinarily a secular community: new residents who live in the new neighborhood are evidently reluctant to join the Ashkenazi service and called for a Sepharadi one alongside. Entering the hall below the uncompleted synagogue (after 5 years I sort of doubt it will ever be finished) I soon realized that I had entered the Sepharaci service. The usual Ben Amo crowd from my block was not here, but the music was much more to my liking, so I stayed. I put Rotem on my lap and we were soon singing Avinu Malkenu and chanting "Adonai Hu HaElokim" to a thoroughly unfamiliar melody. No more minor slow Ashkenazi melodies. We were soon clapping hands. I was definitely born into the wrong sect. I'm switching.

Taking |Rotem on my lap, I whispered to her that Yom Kippur was about to end, and that this was the time to forgive any animosities.

"Rotem, this is the time to say "slicha". If I ever said anything or did anything during the last year that hurt your feelings or made you angry, I'm sorry." I took her hand and we stood up with the rest of the congregation. She stood open-mouthed as the shofar sounded again and again, and we went outside into the moonlit evening.

Rotem then asked me to come with her to ask our neighbor's child, Noam, to make up. I don't know what they had a disagreement about, but Rotem wanted to end it, but she did not have the courage to face Noam alone. We walked over and Rotem said she wanted to make up. Noam did not answer.

"It's OK, Rotem, you did the right thing. Maybe Noam will think about it." We walked home as the stars came out and I told her how difficult it is even for adults to forgive sometimes and end their anger at each other.

Perhaps small children are learning better than adults to be tolerant and forgive. Maybe they can show us.